Just Venting

A couple of weekends ago I attended a convention for the California C?? of Parent Participation Nursery Schools. (I can't remember what the second C stands for) I heard one awesome speaker and got to talk personally with several others who were quite interesting. I bought a book that I thought would help not only in the classroom but also in our family. Here's what I have learned from this book so far- I'm only on page 29:

1. Having the letters "Dr." printed before your name does not mean you should write a book.

2. It must be hard to find a good editor these days. Or even a half way decent one. Or even use the spelling/grammar check on your computer for that matter.

3. It IS possible to make 10 typos in the first 29 pages of a published book.

4. It is also possible to have 5 people write the word "humorous" in their review of your book even when you're not the least bit funny.

5. Teaching classes worldwide in family counseling, encouragement, parent-teacher education and conflict management does not mean that you know what mothers themselves are thinking. This could not be more evident then when the author states that "Permissive" parenting mothers say "What would you like for breakfast, darling?" but are thinking "I have no rights as a human, I am a mother. If you would like, go get the kids in the neighborhood and your brothers and sisters and come trod on me; I'll be lying here on the kitchen floor." Seriously? This is "her thinking"?

6. You can have too much of a good thing. The author's "ideal" parenting/teaching style is based on giving choices. Limited choices, but choices. OK, I agree with that- to a certain point. In my world you get a choice and that's it. Take your pick, this or that. the end. Apparently how I should be doing it is to follow this example: Dad says to the daughter, "Sally, your dog Rover needs to be fed. Do you want to feed him now or before dinner?" (good choice- they have control over when it gets done, but it still gets done and you're not the mean bossy parent. I do this.) Dinner is on the table and Dad says "You need to feed Rover, this was our agreed upon time. Should I put your food in the oven to keep it hot, or would you like me to leave it on the table while you feed him?" (Not sure this choice is really necessary...) Sally argues that neither choice is OK and she doesn't want to feed the dog, so Dad says "How long do you need to be in your room to decide which choice is acceptable, five or ten minutes?" Too far. Too many choices. In ten minutes she is out of her room, her dinner is cold, and the dog still hasn't been fed. And what if she still doesn't want to do it? What choice comes next? Ridiculous. I know kids want to have power. If you don't give it to them, they will try to take it and then you have a rough time ahead of you. Giving choices gives them power, and limiting the choices keeps your power in tact. But at some point you have to be the parent, put your foot down, and remind them who is really in control.

7. I wish I had my $12 back.

Your 'till I ask my kids "Do you want to brush your teeth with warm water or cold water? With your left hand or your right hand? After you put the toothpaste on, or after I put it on?"
-yes, those are actual suggested questions from the book.