Proof Positive

There was a time in my life when I would have categorized myself as a pessimist. Not completely doom and gloom all the time, but seeing my share of half empty. Hoping for the best, but never really believing it would ever happen.

This way of life was okay with me. I was just pessimistic enough not to be disappointed by the downs of life, yet not so much like Eeyore that I brought others down with me. A good balance, I thought. I was perfectly happy not being happy all the time. In fact, I thought people who were cheery and positive were fooling themselves, and others. No one can be optimistic all the time. At some point you have to be real and admit that there's just as much chance for something to go wrong as there is for something to go right. And when it does go wrong, don't pretend that even in it's wrongness it will be alright. That's just stupid.

Well, call me stupid, because I seem to have inched my way over to the half full side without even noticing. This morning I woke up with my optimistic self just waiting to jump out and singsong at me "nah nah nah nah, you're a happy person."

I woke up rested, and when I noticed that I had overslept- missing my morning yoga with the nice lady on PBS- the optimistic voice said to me "you must have needed that extra half hour of sleep more than you needed the exercise." When I dropped yesterday's coffee filter, full of grounds, on the floor the voice said "at least you didn't mop the kitchen yesterday like you said you were going to. Think of what a shame it would have been to drop all that on a clean floor." When my grace and agility failed causing me to dump half of my fresh brewed coffee down the front of me as I tried not to step on top of the baby who had crawled silently right behind me, no one said "great! Of all the days to wear a white t-shirt!" No, instead I heard "whew! Get that shirt into the load of whites you just started in the washer and the stain should come right out." Does it ever stop?

Apparently not, for as I drove down our street toward the school, realizing that I had forgotten to make a lunch for Sarah Jane and knowing that we were already too late to go back, that voice came again "hey, the change from the grocery store yesterday was 2$, just enough for her to buy a school lunch today." And as Sarah Jane ran to class with her tardy slip in hand I didn't feel guilty for ruining her perfect attendance, I thought "at least they don't send home truancy letters for being late."

How did this happen? How did my inner voice turn into the barefooted Bobby McFerrin whistling the tune to Don't Worry, Be Happy? Personally I blame all of you. It's my parent's fault for always telling me that they loved me and that everything would be alright. It's my brother's fault for giving me an emotional sibling relationship to rival Chang and Eng. It's my husband's fault for making me believe that together we can conquer anything. It's my friends' fault for being so encouraging and supportive. Darn you all! You've taken a perfectly good life of pessimism, and proven that the grass really is greener on the other side.

Good work. And have a nice day.

Be true to your school...

Maybe the Beach Boys would have changed the lyrics to "Be a loyal advocate for the educational process as a whole" if they had been faced with the schools of choice Steve and I have in front of us. Although, they would have certainly sold less albums that way.
After a call from the Clarksburg Charter School (Delta) that put everything back into a tailspin (they have rearranged the classes so that now Sarah Jane would be with the second graders instead of the kinders- a much better plan) I have decided not to decide on a school for now. She will remain at Alyce Norman until Christmas break, at which time the situation will be reevaluated.
So, in the spirit of taking one semester at a time, I am done with this subject for now. It has consumed far too many of my minutes, days, and weeks. Sarah Jane is doing well in her class, and that is all that matters for today. Which, by the way, the Bible tells us very clearly to focus on. We are not to worry about tomorrow, and so I shan't.

Moving on... everything else here is going well. Sarah Jane really is loving first grade. She particularly loves having three recess times and lunch in the cafeteria. Sadie will be starting preschool in October. I have spoken with the teacher and she says there is room for her if we're interested. Which of course we are. Sydney is currently fighting a bug, but will hopefully get over it quickly. Still no independent walking, but she can stand up on her own without holding on or pulling up on something. An important step, says our pediatrician. Steve is always busy with work and the three softball teams he plays on. I am busy also, with church commitments and family stuff. I've had the opportunity to teach at two recent women's ministry events, and have been working on my writing. All's well for the Hinton Huddle. Until next time...

The verdict is in

Well, we visited the charter school in Clarksburg. It was small, friendly, and the drive only took about 20 minutes. Brand new classrooms, books and supplies for all of the kids, nice size play ground with lots of field space for games, sports, and just plain running about. I couldn't ask for anything more! Oh, wait. A first grade teacher would be a nice addition.
It turns out that there are not enough students enrolled to hire a full time teacher for first grade. Therefore, they will be having a Kindergarten/First Grade combined class. Not all bad, if there are 15- first graders and you throw in half a dozen kinders. But the ratio is 15 Kindergartners and only 8 first graders. So basically in the morning it will be a kinder class with the others doing independent study and group work and then after the little ones go home at lunch the first graders have the last 2 hours to focus on grade level material.
Yeah, that's not going to work for me. I met the teacher and she seems lovely. She has experience teaching both levels and has an extra reading/language arts credential. I would be very happy with her as Sarah Jane's teacher. But Sarah Jane not getting a full days focused instruction seems like a waste. She has such potential in academics and for her to have half of the day without a truly focused teacher is not what I envisioned for my baby's first grade experience.
We gladly put our name on a waiting list, and told them to contact us as soon as enrollment increased to the point of hiring a separate teacher for first grade. They were very understanding and would love for that to happen tomorrow. Although, I'm not holding my breath that we'll get in at all this year. We will definitely reevaluate next summer and see where we are, and if we still think Clarksburg would be better than where we are now then great! But for now, we take a deep breath, wipe away the tears of disappointment (yes, there were real tears) and prepare for another year at Alyce Norman Elementary School.
So, continue to pray for us and for Sarah Jane's education. May it be blessed to the utmost!

Prayer Request

School starts in one week from tomorrow (August 22) and Steve and I have yet to settle on where Sarah Jane should attend first grade. She is officially enrolled in her elementary school from last year, Alyce Norman, but neither of us were very happy with the principal and the lack of programs available there. I checked out a charter school that allows you to home school while having the option of taking some classes on their campus. However, after much deliberation and earnest prayer, I have decided that God has not called me to home school. At least not right now. If there comes a time when a traditional school setting isn't working for one or more of the girls for any reason, then I am willing to do what needs to be done to ensure they get the best education. And at this point the best education for Sarah Jane will not come from me.
We have another school to look at this weekend, and this is possibly the best option for all of us. It is a charter school in a nearby town called Clarksburg. It is a small, rural town and the charter school will be the only elementary school. Their students are currently attending K-6 in another town at a regular public elementary. They have the option of keeping their children where they are, or joining the charter program. Since there aren't enough students to fill the school, even if all of Clarksburg chooses the charter option, they have opened enrollment to other areas, including West Sacramento.
We received a flyer in the mail last week and I began looking into it right away. It will offer things like music, art, drama and Spanish which public schools don't have funding for. But probably one of the neatest things they will offer is agriculture. This could be a great learning tool for their community, and I would love Sarah Jane, and the other girls for that matter, to have that opportunity also.
I spoke to the school secretary yesterday and she was just delightful. What a change from the Alyce Norman staff! She answered a lot of my questions and then gave me the email for the principal so I could contact her directly. The Principal/Director, Mrs. Daniels, will be on the campus this Saturday for a meet and greet with those who helped get the school up and running and Maria, the secretary, said we were more than welcome to stop by and check things out. Steve and I are both excited to actually meet the principal and see the school with our own eyes. I have emailed a list of questions we have and will wait to hear from her before I shoot off another round of inquiry.
This is the most comfortable I have felt about a school from the very beginning! And I haven't even seen it or know all I need to know. I really feel that God has put a peace in my heart about this, and that could be the sign that this is where the girls are supposed to be. The only con on my pro/con list so far is the drive. We will officially clock it this weekend, but it could take almost 30 minutes one way. We really need to weigh the positives and see if all of that time in the car, and the gas money spent, will be worth it. On the other hand, the secretary said that there are many West Sacramento families enrolled and many have asked about busing and ride sharing possibilities. To get a bus for West Sac kids could take a while to pass through the school board, but if enough of us push for it the possibility is there. In the meantime, she has suggested to the director that we create a car pooling club of some sort and meet together to map out who lives where and who can drive when. I see a community being built within the school already and it hasn't even opened yet! That is the environment we want for our kids, and it is so nice to see that it might actually be possible.
Please pray for our meeting this weekend with Mrs. Daniels, and for ability to hear God and make the decision that He says is right. I don't want to be somewhere that isn't in God's will, even if that means staying at Alyce Norman. If God says it's right, then the girls will be blessed. But again, I have a great peace and excitement about this charter school. Pray for wisdom!!!
Thanks, I'll let you know our decision as soon as we make it.

My Sincerest Appologies

I asked all of you to keep checking this blog to get regular updates on the Hinton Huddle. And while you have been faithful, I apologize for the lack of "regularness" on my part. In my defense I have been EXTREMELY busy. Not that you haven't been busy too, and I recognize your time spent to log on only to reveal that I still haven't written anything. So again, I'm sorry, and I will try to be more on top of it in the coming months.
What has been consuming my time, you may ask?
First- Sarah Jane finished Kindergarten, lost her first tooth, and we signed her up for T-ball. She is very excited to be a first grader, but not as excited as she is to be playing T-ball again. Not only does she love sports, she is really quite good. I think we might have to try soccer in the fall, her kicking and trapping skills have greatly improved since a visit from her Uncle David...which brings me to business excuse number two.
We had a wonderful visit with my Aunt Judy and Uncle Willard in May, and then David came to stay for almost a whole week in June. He had some leave that needed taking before his time in the Navy is up, so he spent some of it visiting his three nieces. They just loved having him here, and he and I had a great time just hanging out. He was hoping to get the leave to coincide with our trip to Michigan, but that just didn't work out. However, that is my excuse #3.
We just got back from a two week trip to my homeland. It was a great vacation, but now I need a vacation. We were busy everyday, and our poor children got dragged around for 14 days straight of family, friends, and special events.
Special events? Yes. That is #4.
The greatest accomplishment of the century is that Jenny Irish, Blair Brown, and Erin Hinton managed to plan a surprise birthday party (complete with 245 invited people, tons of food, and a hot air balloon ride) for our moms and pull it off without them catching on! June 30 was the big bash and all three moms were completely surprised, despite many times of the beans being spilled everywhere. We had been actively working on it for about 6 months, although the last two months is where most of the work went. It turned out to be a great party, and a lot of fun to plan. And if I do say so myself, my skills at secret keeping are superb! And while there were last minute details to put together while I was in Michigan, I still found time for excuse number 5.
I have been working on, and finally finished and submitted an article for a mom's magazine called MOMSense. I was working on the article before we left for Michigan but just couldn't get anything to flow. After being home in Waterford and spending time with the entity known as Judy, Joan, and Cathy the article wrote itself. I should hear within 10-12 weeks if they have accepted it, but in the mean time I am making a goal to write one article or creative piece a week. That way I can keep working on my skills and hopefully build a base of work to pull from when opportunities to publish arise.
Speaking of writing...I am sorry to say that this blog session must come to an end. my time with quiet, occupied children is drawing to a close. Thank you for your forgiveness and understanding, and I will attempt to write again soon.

Communication Commitment

If you are a member of my family, please read the following.
If you are not a member of my family, you may still read the following.

It is my desire for each of us to make a Communication Commitment. By this, I mean that we should each agree to not only work individually to stay connected, but also to help and encourage each other in all efforts to build familial relationships.
For example:
I remind David to send dad a birthday card.
I encourage Sarah Jane to call Grandma when something exciting happens.
Grandma sends little "just because" notes in the mail along with questions for the girls to answer and send back.
You get the idea?

I would like any family member reading this to respond with a comment saying that you make this commitment with me. The help and encouragement can take many many forms, and the possibilities are endless.

This idea came as I am working on an article about our family being strong despite the distance between us. I am planning to submit this article to a magazine for moms called MOMSence. I'd like to use this idea in the article, assuming other people think it's a good idea too.

Let me know what you think!

The Best $20 I Have Ever Spent

Guess where I am right now.
OK, I'm on the computer, that was an easy one.
Guess where my two oldest kids are.
They are in the playroom, playing a board game.
Guess where the baby is.
She is in the playroom chewing on a few teether toys and drooling like a faucet.

Wait a minute...
you mean to say that all three of the girls are awake, and in the same room, and no one is screaming, crying, choking, or otherwise in peril? And you're saying that while all three of them are awake, and in the same room, you have decided to remove yourself from their presence and focus your attention on the computer? Are you crazy, woman!

Why yes, in fact I am. Crazy.
My sanity is so close to the edge of the unknown that I have gone and done what I previously thought was absurd. I have taken a road that my friends said was a life-saver, but of which I could only think "you've got to be kidding me." I have given in to a temptation that before now I simply couldn't bring myself to indulge in.

I have paid a babysitter to play with my children while I...
DO NOTHING!!!

I ate my lunch without getting up. I drank a whole glass of orange juice by myself. I sewed on a button without spending 45 minutes searching for the 4 straight pins that my kid masterfully dropped in various places on the living room carpet. And that was only in the first 15 minutes! Now, obviously, I'm spending quality time with my computer. Then I might read one whole chapter in a book, or maybe finish the Sudoku puzzle that I started last Saturday. Or maybe I'll just take a nap.

This is amazing. I wish I had given in sooner. I know that there are probably better ways to spend $20. But today, my sanity deserves to be pampered. Today, I declare the next 2 hours as official "Me Time." So, while I would love to sit and chat, I have things to do. Or not do.

Quote of the Day

I'm reading a foofy romance novel by Debbie Macomber entitled Mrs. Miracle. At the beginning of each chapter there is a quote from the main character, cleverly named Mrs. Merkle. These one liners not only set the tone for the upcoming chapter, but they are so darn witty I just have to share a few of them with you.
But just a few...
for now.

A lot of people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.

The best way to get even is to forget.

Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.

One more...

God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

Hope you smiled!

Brag #2

The results are in...
Sarah Jane brought home her report card and, of course, as we all expected, she is doing a fabulous job at being a Kindergartner!
Her evaluation indicates that she either "meets" or "exceeds" all of the expectations for the current quarter. Her math is well beyond that of the state standards, as is her reading. In fact, Miss St.John sent home a special note saying, and I quote (including the use of exclamation points), "Sarah Jane is now learning first grade words!! Her reading is at a first grade level!! She continues to be a positive and outgoing student in the classroom. Keep up the good work!"
We wouldn't have expected anything less that to hear that she is a stellar student, and Sarah Jane herself seemed very proud to have gotten such praise from her "favorite teacher."
Now if we can only get her to meet the household standards for taking out the trash and for putting both clean and dirty clothes in the proper places...

Life is Stage

Happy Easter to one and all!
While this is a joyful holiday full of spiritual significance and tons of chocolate, I am glad to say that the day is almost over.
Steve had the misfortune of having to work today, and while I appreciate his willingness to do what it takes to support his family, he was missed by us all. We began our Sunday morning by discovering some much anticipated goodies from our friend the Easter Bunny. Both big girls were very excited to dig into their baskets, and while Sydney didn't get to enjoy any sweets, her new teething toy was a big hit. Of course the Bunny didn't forget about Kenny who had been staying with us over his spring break from school. He got a giant chocolate bunny and some spending money for an upcoming trip to LA with his high school band. Everyone was smiles from ear to ear (except the rabbits who had already had their ears eaten off.)
We had three services at church and I did a dramatic reading of a poem at each one. It was a long day, but I think many people were touched by the words of the poem.
I print it here with permission from the author...

There they lie
our dreams in shreds.
Battered
Scattered
Heart-shattered
All the things we thought that mattered
Have slipped,
In the stripped form,
Hand-clawed
Thorn-pierced
Blood matted form.
Nailed to a cross.

It's not just a man who's died,
But out hopes,
Lives,
Yearnings
Mission
Heart-pourings of a vision of what might have been.

"Dreams dreams" the sneered
In snide scorning
As they hammered home the last three taunts
Of a devil's smile.
They might as well have
Slammed them into my heart.

We've gone the extra mile,
And back again.
And nowhere left to start.

Is the morning too still
To hear a word twice whispered?
Is dawning possible
From hearts all bitter-twisted?
Who dares disturb my grief,
Or bring a word?

But there it is again.
No raised voice this, nor distant,
But quiet, insistent
Slowly stripping dawns resistance
To the joy it brings.
I try to mourn
"Tell me where they've laid Him!"

Warm eyes have none of it.
No graven gaze engulfs my face,
But love,
Reborn
Renewed
Regiven
From a riven heart
That took the path of love.

Faith flickers
Full-fanned
Bursts out aflame
And Man!

Suddenly the enormity of it all strikes you...

That death
Is just a birth
The world will not contain.

Great poem, huh? Hope you had a great Easter, and will have a wonderful week to come.

Remember, He died for you too!

Progress has been made! Sarah Jane and Sadie Lynn have both been to the dentist, and I must say that I feel like SuperMom.
Both girls have fabulously clean teeth and I was praised for their brushing habits. At Sarah Jane's appointment I asked Dr. Lee to address the thumb sucking habit. She was surprised to hear that Sarah Jane was a thumb sucker as apparently she has done no damage to her mouth. But the subject was discussed and Sarah Jane has been working VERY hard to break that habit ever since.
When it was Sadie Lynn's turn, thumb sucking was the first thing mentioned by the dentist. She is not as lucky, and there is a small amount of change to the roof of her mouth which will only get worse if she can't kick the habit. Of course, Sadie Lynn is the one with the iron will and if I can't convince her to quit on her own we will have an epic battle on our hands.
I have already scheduled their next appointments for 6 months from now (I'm determined to stay on top of it this time) so we have some time to work on it. I'm sure Sarah Jane will go back with a great report, having stopped sucking her thumb entirely by then. But join us as we pray for a divine intervention on Sadie Lynn's behalf. God help us!

Guilty As Charged

I am doing a semi-devotional study with my friend Hannah on Friday mornings. We are using the Book Mom...and Loving It! and we meet once a week to discuss what we read. I call it a semi-devotional because, while it is a Christian book, it doesn't actually study any specific parts of scripture. I does include prayers and gives scriptural counsel and we are enjoying it very much.

Our current chapter is on guilt, as are the next three. Guilt is something that moms deal with a lot. The responsibility to raise these human beings into responsible, respectful, confident, contributing adults is HUGE! And every time we make a mistake, which is quite often for some of us, we place another brick of guilt on our shoulders. The burden becomes almost too much for us to bear at times and we have the "mother" of all breakdowns. Our girlfriends reassure us that they too made the same mistakes and their kids turned out OK. Our husbands hug us and tell us everything will be fine, it's not that bad, and that we are in this together. Our God encourages us by saying that he uses all things (the good and the bad) to His glory. We shake it off, dry up the river of tears and start fresh again the next day- determined not to make the same mistake twice, even though there is a very good chance that we will.

Many of my readers are mom friends, and so to you I write this list of my worst guilt builders. These are the things that I feel most guilty about on a regular basis.
1. I don't feed my kids enough vegetables (seriously!)
2. I don't spend enough time just playing with them
3. I don't spend enough one on one time with any of them (Steve included)
4. Sometimes, while I love my child, I don't like her very much
5. By 7:30 p.m. I'm too tired to read bedtime stories and often skip that part of our routine.
6. I have yet to take any of my kids to the dentist (go ahead and gasp. i know you want to)
7. I have spanked out of anger
8. I yell too much
9. I send my kid to school without brushing her hair (but not everyday)
10. My house is too messy (everyday)
11. I don't contribute enough to our finances
12. My kids watch too much TV

This is not a list of my sinful confessions. These are things that I really feel guilty about. I lie awake at night and think about each one of these things and so many more that I can't take the time to list. These are the things I worry about, and I wonder how on earth my little girls will be alright after having to suffer such an inexperienced mother. Luckily, it is not about how they will survive on this earth. It is about their eternal lives with the Lord. And as much as I would like to take credit for getting them into heaven, only Jesus can control that. He is their only hope, and what an amazing hope He is! Despite me, despite themselves, they have a way to forgiveness and a way to perfection.

I encourage you to let go of your guilt, or at least a couple of bricks today, a couple more tomorrow, and to thank the Lord that He works ALL things to His glory.

Since I can't seem to find time for the creative part of this blog, I will instead use the next 5 minutes (which may or may not be interrupted by "MOMMY!!!") to simply update you all.
First, everyone is healthy. Thank you Jesus!
Second, we got the girls' pictures taken for spring, and will try to get the copies in the mail before Halloween. Aunt Judy and Uncle Willard are coming out to visit in May, and there is a better than 90% chance that all Michigan bound pictures will return with them - although I haven't told them that yet.
Third, I think it is safe to say that Sarah Jane (MOMMY!!!!) will be attending Alyce Norman Elementary School (where she is this year) again next year. If you are aware of the struggles we have had with this issue you will be surprised to hear me say this with such almost certainty. For the rest, I'd love to fill you in on the drama, but that will have to wait for my next 5 minute break. (Which, frankly, could be next year.)
Fourth, no decision has been made as to Sadie Lynn's pre-school attendance other than she will go. Our choices are (MOMMY!!!!) between two schools, everyday or two days a week, morning or afternoon, and which teacher we want. It's a matter of whether we want to favor the educator or the schedule. I'll keep you posted.
Fifth, Sydney Joy has gotten her first tooth! And #2 is on the way through. We are very excited to see the precious gem in her mouth, but are not so pleased with all of the discomfort it has caused our little baby. One down- twenty to go. As for the other side of this saga, Sarah Jane has yet to loose any teeth. Most of her friends have gaping holes (WHAAA!!!)in their mouths by this point, and she is very anxious to get a visit from the Tooth Fairy. (There's a funny story to go with this, but again, for another time)

I have to end now, but with many promises of further info. Love to you all. Thanks for reading.

Be Fruitful and Multiply

"Why did you have three kids? Aren't you loosing your mind with all of them at home?"
"Don't you want to keep trying for a boy?"
"How could you have your "tubes tied" so young? What if you want more kids later on?"

All good questions, and all asked of me within the last few weeks by different friends of mine. Spring is in the air, must be time to start talking about procreating again...

Realizing that others may have similar or the same questions, I will share the process through which Steve and I have come to our family planning decisions.

Step one, we got married, then had kids. Sounds obvious to some, sounds silly to others, but it was a deliberate decision we made to wait for marriage before "making babies", if you know what I mean.
We knew we wanted kids, at least two. I wanted our first to be a boy. The older, protective brother. But then a girl would be nice. One of each, that was our plan.
Our first child came a little bit sooner than we had planned. Oh, who am I kidding. She came A LOT sooner than we had planned. Yes, SHE. Now would be a good time to throw the "plan" out of the window. But as believers in God's perfect will, and after a few frantic, tear filled phone calls to reassuring family and friends, we decided that this was nothing less than a blessing from the Lord.
After Sarah Jane arrived I scrapped the plan of having two kids and vowed never to share my love with another child ever again. Surely, any sibling would be short changed, as I couldn't imagine loving someone else as much as I loved her. And thank the Lord I didn't have a boy. This little girl was so perfect, obviously better than any boy could ever be. This stuck with me for about two years. During this time, my brother David was in High School and our relationship was greatly improving from what it had been when we lived under the same roof. We talked regularly, laughed a lot and shared more of our lives than we did when we saw each other everyday. I realized how much better my life was because of him, and decided that Sarah Jane, deserving of all that was good, should have that opportunity too. So it was decided. She would have a sibling. But what if I really didn't love the next baby like I loved Sarah Jane? And what if I had a boy!?
On a trip home to Michigan, I shared my thoughts with my dad. Shockingly, he said that he felt the same way when I was born, and had the same reservations when he learned of David's conception. He said that it didn't take long for him to know that every anxiety, every worry, was for naught. As he held his precious baby boy, he realized that he had the capacity to love more than one person unconditionally, and he assured me that I would find the same miracle in my heart when the time came. I took his advice and Steve and I planned for the next child. Although some anxiety over the love issue lingered through the pregnancy, I held on to my dad's words of encouragement. The day of the ultrasound came, and as I laid on the exam table watching the human being inside of me move on the TV monitor, I knew he was right. That was my baby in there, and I instantly loved it with my entire being. This love actually increased when we were told we were having another girl. Thank you Jesus! After Sadie was born it didn't take long for me to know that if I loved these two, surely I could love another.
Steve was perfectly happy with two we had originally planned for, but was willing to sacrifice further if I felt sure I could handle it. There was no doubt in my mind that I would be insane within the first year of having three kids. But I knew we needed to have one more. Needed? Yes, needed. As odd as it may sound I had a gut feeling that there was someone else waiting to join our family. God was obviously prompting me toward another child, and I agreed as long as He would give us another girl. And on June 27 of last year, she arrived. And again, the fountain of love overflowed for my precious Sydney Joy.
It was at that birth that my ability to have more children was severed. Do I have regrets about that decision? Nope. Not a one. I have everything I have ever wanted, plus some I didn't even know I wanted until I had it.
This last Thanksgiving, sitting down at the table I prepared for our family, I felt complete. Our family was complete. We were all there, we were starting our own holiday traditions, and we were happy. All of us.

"Why do we have three kids?" Because three is a perfect number for us.
"Aren't you loosing my mind with all of them at home?" Absolutely. But someday they will all be gone from home, and I will long for the days of so much family time you want to scream.
"Don't you want to keep trying for a boy?" No way. Girls rule, and boys drool! (no offense to those with boys, or those who are boys) And speaking for my husband, he has a son, Kenny, and is perfectly happy with him to carry on the family name.
"How could you have your "tubes tied" so young?" I'm 30 now. Not so young in the world of child-bearing.
"What if you want to have more kids later on?" I'm confident in saying that I won't want more later. But if I get nostalgic for the spit up, poopy diapers, sticky hands, and seemingly endless crying of a baby, and perhaps mention the idea of wanting more, someone shoot me, will you?

You take the good, you take the bad

You take them both, and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. There's a time you've got to go and show you're grown and now you know about the facts of life, the facts of life. When the world never seems to be living up to your dreams, then suddenly you're finding out the facts of life are all about you. Ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo, ooo.
Tootie would be proud.
But I digress.

Here's the good-
Yesterday was Steve's birthday! Happy 37th to my hunk of burnin' love.
He had to work, but when he got home the party began. We got take out from one of Steve's favorite restaurants and had cake made just for him by his girls. We opened presents and then he got to go take a quiet bath while I cleaned up from dinner. Not exactly the party of the century, but then...

Here's the bad (and the ugly for that matter)-
Poor little Sadie Lynn is still sick. The episode from Thursday night has carried through the weekend, and now into Monday morning. She only threw up that once on Thursday, but the diarrhea has continued to plague my little baby. I have a call into the advice nurse at our pediatrician's office, but I have a feeling she will tell me to just wait it out a bit longer. I have heard that there is a virus going around that doesn't include a fever but wreaks havoc on the tummy. She is eating, and more importantly drinking, just fine, so there is no need to panic. Although if this doesn't clear up soon i may go insane. I think she's used up three rolls of TP all on her own, and our brand new bottle of floor cleaner is about gone.
On the bright side, Sarah Jane and Sydney Joy still show no signs of having contracted the same intestinal troubles. And for that I am extremely thankful!

Brag

I'm am certain that very often you will find this blogspot to become a bragspot as I boast about the accomplishments of my extraordinary children. However, this first brag is reserved for my One and Only.
On Thursday of this last week Steve passed his State of California Pasteurizers Test with a whopping 91%! The successful completion of this test comes with both an official state license and a 69 cent raise. WooHoo!
The next step up in the company will be the position of Supervisor. Steve isn't wanting to move up too soon, as he is looking forward to being a pasteurizer for a while, A job he has been coveting for the last 6 years. However, the company has already called him to work extra hours when a supervisor was out sick, so I guess they're testing him in the waters of management already.
He's been told to expect to remain at his current scheduled position (5am to 3:30pm) for at least a year, maybe longer, but we have learned that there are no guarantees. Everything could change tomorrow.
But for now we are celebrating his wonderful success!

Recommended Reading

Go to the library or the bookstore and look at The Best American Short Stories for 2006. (Thanks Aunt Judy and Uncle Willard!) The whole collection is pretty good, but if you only read one story, this should be it...
Grandmother's Nose by Robert Coover (originally published in Daedalus)
If only I could be so talented, and clever, as to write like this...

Not my favorite part of the job...

I am a Christian woman. I go to church. I love Jesus. I believe in the power of prayer.
As a mom, there are many times when I call upon that power. However few are more urgent than when a child is throwing up.
"Please God, let it stop."
"Lord, if you could help her aim even a little bit so that at least half of the vomit lands in the bowl and not on my lap, that would be great."
"Jesus, I pray that you would heal my child from this illness. However, if you choose to let the virus run its course, could you please give me enough time to change the sheets, change my clothes, change her clothes, start the laundry, and mop the floor before she pukes again? I would really appreciate that."

Sadie Lynn seems to have a stomach bug of some sort which is causing us all great distress. I was at a school board meeting last night when I got a frantic call from Steve. He's pretty good with the girls on his own, and can handle just about any situation without help. Unless that situation involves someone barfing. And worse than that, last night he had barfing and diarrhea to deal with. Everywhere. I knew from the tone of his voice that his ability to cope was quickly coming to an end. I rushed home, but by the time I got there my wonderful husband had already cleaned up and a tearful little Sadie Lynn was in bed waiting for new blankets from her daddy. As soon as I walked in the room he looked at Sadie Lynn, gave her a kiss on the forehead, turned to me and said "it's your turn." I spent the next hour sitting on the bed next to my sick little girl whispering prayers for her health
It was a long night, but she seems to be in better spirits this morning. And, frankly, I can't imagine she has much more inside of her that could possibly come out of either end.
So far Sarah Jane has shown no signs of the bug herself, and so she went to school this morning as usual. Although, the last time Sadie Lynn was ill, and Sarah Jane wasn't (or so I thought) she threw up in her classroom within the first 5 minutes. Oh well, at least someone else had to clean it up that time.

Entry #1

Here it is. My mommy blog. All about me, my girls, and life as a stay at home mom. How much more exciting can it get? Never mind, don't answer that.
You may be wondering "why would Erin start a blog?" And that, my friends, is a good question.
The answer is simple. Because I want to.
My life is currently under the tight control of four very special, yet very demanding people. (you know who you are) And while I want nothing more than to be a mom and be at home with my family, I need a place to let loose now and then. A place I can be creative in a way that doesn't involve finger paints. A space I can let my thoughts run and ramble, or maybe one where I can carefully hone my thoughts into complete sentences that others might actually enjoy reading.
I need a place to be the mom I really am without worrying about the mom I should be. A log of my travels with my children as together, Steve and I try to negotiate our way through the rough waters of parenting.
So join me, will you, as I live, learn and love being a mom.