Be Fruitful and Multiply

"Why did you have three kids? Aren't you loosing your mind with all of them at home?"
"Don't you want to keep trying for a boy?"
"How could you have your "tubes tied" so young? What if you want more kids later on?"

All good questions, and all asked of me within the last few weeks by different friends of mine. Spring is in the air, must be time to start talking about procreating again...

Realizing that others may have similar or the same questions, I will share the process through which Steve and I have come to our family planning decisions.

Step one, we got married, then had kids. Sounds obvious to some, sounds silly to others, but it was a deliberate decision we made to wait for marriage before "making babies", if you know what I mean.
We knew we wanted kids, at least two. I wanted our first to be a boy. The older, protective brother. But then a girl would be nice. One of each, that was our plan.
Our first child came a little bit sooner than we had planned. Oh, who am I kidding. She came A LOT sooner than we had planned. Yes, SHE. Now would be a good time to throw the "plan" out of the window. But as believers in God's perfect will, and after a few frantic, tear filled phone calls to reassuring family and friends, we decided that this was nothing less than a blessing from the Lord.
After Sarah Jane arrived I scrapped the plan of having two kids and vowed never to share my love with another child ever again. Surely, any sibling would be short changed, as I couldn't imagine loving someone else as much as I loved her. And thank the Lord I didn't have a boy. This little girl was so perfect, obviously better than any boy could ever be. This stuck with me for about two years. During this time, my brother David was in High School and our relationship was greatly improving from what it had been when we lived under the same roof. We talked regularly, laughed a lot and shared more of our lives than we did when we saw each other everyday. I realized how much better my life was because of him, and decided that Sarah Jane, deserving of all that was good, should have that opportunity too. So it was decided. She would have a sibling. But what if I really didn't love the next baby like I loved Sarah Jane? And what if I had a boy!?
On a trip home to Michigan, I shared my thoughts with my dad. Shockingly, he said that he felt the same way when I was born, and had the same reservations when he learned of David's conception. He said that it didn't take long for him to know that every anxiety, every worry, was for naught. As he held his precious baby boy, he realized that he had the capacity to love more than one person unconditionally, and he assured me that I would find the same miracle in my heart when the time came. I took his advice and Steve and I planned for the next child. Although some anxiety over the love issue lingered through the pregnancy, I held on to my dad's words of encouragement. The day of the ultrasound came, and as I laid on the exam table watching the human being inside of me move on the TV monitor, I knew he was right. That was my baby in there, and I instantly loved it with my entire being. This love actually increased when we were told we were having another girl. Thank you Jesus! After Sadie was born it didn't take long for me to know that if I loved these two, surely I could love another.
Steve was perfectly happy with two we had originally planned for, but was willing to sacrifice further if I felt sure I could handle it. There was no doubt in my mind that I would be insane within the first year of having three kids. But I knew we needed to have one more. Needed? Yes, needed. As odd as it may sound I had a gut feeling that there was someone else waiting to join our family. God was obviously prompting me toward another child, and I agreed as long as He would give us another girl. And on June 27 of last year, she arrived. And again, the fountain of love overflowed for my precious Sydney Joy.
It was at that birth that my ability to have more children was severed. Do I have regrets about that decision? Nope. Not a one. I have everything I have ever wanted, plus some I didn't even know I wanted until I had it.
This last Thanksgiving, sitting down at the table I prepared for our family, I felt complete. Our family was complete. We were all there, we were starting our own holiday traditions, and we were happy. All of us.

"Why do we have three kids?" Because three is a perfect number for us.
"Aren't you loosing my mind with all of them at home?" Absolutely. But someday they will all be gone from home, and I will long for the days of so much family time you want to scream.
"Don't you want to keep trying for a boy?" No way. Girls rule, and boys drool! (no offense to those with boys, or those who are boys) And speaking for my husband, he has a son, Kenny, and is perfectly happy with him to carry on the family name.
"How could you have your "tubes tied" so young?" I'm 30 now. Not so young in the world of child-bearing.
"What if you want to have more kids later on?" I'm confident in saying that I won't want more later. But if I get nostalgic for the spit up, poopy diapers, sticky hands, and seemingly endless crying of a baby, and perhaps mention the idea of wanting more, someone shoot me, will you?